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For Dad

  1. Dad definition
  1. There's no one else I'd rather raise asshole kids with
  1. Dad aren't you happy mom didn't have a headache that night? Happy father's day
  1. I don't normally thank people for knocking up my mom but I'm happy it was you
  1. I hope your father's day is as fun as your life was before kids
  1. I chose your gift like I'll choose your nursing home. Low cost & in a hurry
  1. Happy father's day from your favorite pain in the ass
  1. Best dad ever!
  1. Good job dad, I turned out great!
  1. They say at first if you don't succeed, try again
  1. Dad thanks for putting up with my sister
  1. Dad thanks for putting up with my brother
  1. Sometime's you just get it right the first time. Happy Father's Day from first born
  1. Am I perfect? No. But we can blame Mom for that one
  1. Dad thanks for always saying yes when mom said no
  1. Thanks for not hitting it & quitting it
  1. Dad you were right about a lot of shit
  1. Dad thanks for sharing your DNA now we're both awesome
  1. We have the perfect Father Daughter relationship
  1. Dear Dad
  1. You're my favorite Father In Law
  1. World's Okayest Husband
  1. World's Okayest Father