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For Dad

  1. I hope this smells better than the shit I put you through
  1. Big Daddy Pumpkin
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  1. I love you to the moon and back
  1. My favorite kid got me this
  1. I'm sorry you had to raise my brother
  1. I'm sorry you had to raise my sister
  1. Mama Pumpkin
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  1. Dad Life's hard but at least your children aren't ugly
  1. Life would succ without you