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For Dad

  1. I hope this smells better than the shit I put you through
  1. Big Daddy Pumpkin
  1. My favorite kid got me this
  1. I love you to the moon and back
  1. I'm sorry you had to raise my brother
  1. I'm sorry you had to raise my sister
  1. Mama Pumpkin
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  1. Dad Life's hard but at least your children aren't ugly
  1. Life would succ without you